There are various cultures. Sometimes we judge them by skin color, language spoken or even financial status. I have been thinking about family cultures, and have come to an awareness of two definite differences that might move a family forward.

First, the culture of trauma. This group of people acts swiftly with terrible news or difficult challenges. No one can say that they are lazy or uncaring in these situations. If there is an accident, illness or death—these folks are “johnny on the spot”. They are there to console, empathize and encourage.  Need a shoulder to cry on…..just give them a call! From one trauma to another……this is the way their life goes. Someone looking at the family from afar might think that they thrive on bad things that happen. Maybe. Is it the hope others will think so highly of them because they have endured? Can it be labeled selfishness?

Second, the culture of goals. These family members set goals, work diligently to achieve those goals, and celebrate success. When trauma hits, another goal is set. Move forward, out of the trauma, making the best of circumstances. Action is taken towards that new goal.  It motivates them because there will be celebrating with achievement. As I have watched these families I don’t think they have less trauma in their lives—they just respond differently. Is there an appearance of being oblivious to awful things that might happen? Or perhaps being too “tough skinned”? A risk of this thinking is to ignore a difficulty, not wanting to face reality. That certainly doesn’t make goal setting progress! By and large, goal setting families are emotionally healthier. I would sure rather visit with the goal setters because they don’t suck me dry. They are inspirational.

The trauma group seems to relish the trauma. Conversations always revert back to the trauma. Do they expect sympathy? Or help? Goodness knows, they do NOT want advice. There is probably a good balance of both cultures because all of us will experience tough times and satisfied goals. It’s the mind set. Those with a strong faith will rely on that faith to sustain them through difficulties. The one objective, I believe, is to learn from the trauma, make adjustments, set new goals and “get on with it”.

Goals set and achieved can define me. Regardless of my age.