I have finally faced my reality………..I am a social misfit. Here’s the definition:

“A person who is different from other people and who does not seem to belong in a particular group or situation.”

Yup, that is me. I have played the game, pretended and put on a good face. But there are those occasions (and probably much too frequent) when the real me enters stage right. Now that I have come to this truth I have been thinking back to how this happened.

Raised by a mother who was an A plus introvert, a father who was a social butterfly but catered to my mother, and then me, trying to please them both. I’m probably still confused. As a student I was known as being straight forward, perhaps honest. Friends were few, but close. There was never one moment of hesitation when asked my opinion. Or in the classroom, I had the answers. And freely shared. Early beginnings paved the way to being a social misfit.

There is no memory of direction and counseling on “how to be accepted in a group”. It was more important to be truthful. What if someone had said to me “be careful what you say in public, because you don’t want to offend someone”. Well, of course, over time I figured it out. The looks of horror on the recipient’s face…………..oh yes, I could tell what I had done. But deep down I knew the truth…and eventually it would come out.

As an adult I sit on boards, committees, attend fancy functions……..and I am a misfit. The truth comes bubbling out. I try hard, I really do. But the truth will prevail. If that was the only problem I would still be accepted. But the words blurt. Let it be understood, I love the people around me. I don’t understand, still, why truth isn’t acceptable. I want the truth from people that care about me. Because you see, I believe when I know the truth, I can accept, reject or repair. If no one tells me I have spinach in my teeth, I can’t clean it out!

There is a positive side to my handicap. When committees have concluded all their craziness, they ask me what I think. It’s usually a pretty good summary. My friends know me and they can count on me….I’m honest. All disagreements can be addressed if we’re honest.

Honesty has set me free, time and again. I’m sorry to those that have been offended. No, I’m not.