My dearest girls; someday you will be faced with making a very important decision. Your life partner. I pray for you continually, knowing you will fall in love and ask “is this the right one”? I pray you know that YOU choose, YOU are in control of yourself, and YOU will never feel pressured to make a questionable decision.

If I could talk with you honestly, when the time comes, this is what I would say.( I pray, of course, I see all four of you enjoy a successful adult life, however, we never know when God might call me home to be with Him.)

Here’s a little background on your Grandmother’s life: I was engaged as a young woman to a very nice young man. We went to the same church and enjoyed dating for three years before deciding to marry. Several months before our marriage I decided he was not the right partner. My father (your great-grandfather) very wisely said to me “just remember, this is a decision to last a lifetime”). Hmmm. Let me tell you about Ron. He was kind, moral, sweet, thoughtful, and fun. However, I believed I wanted someone who was ambitious, intelligent, goal driven, and one with whom I could share my love of music.
Shortly after, I met your Grandfather. Jim was everything I wanted in a husband. Oh, he was so good looking! I loved red headed fellows. He had exciting goals, came from an affluent business family, had a beautiful singing voice, played the trombone with great skill, and he was intelligent. We quickly decided to get married. Our beautiful church wedding was the day AFTER President John Kennedy was assassinated. We were married for over 51 years. ALL marriages have struggles and joys. Ours was no different. When Grandpa passed away, I had no intention of finding another partner. God had another plan!

The amazing love story that came about because I answered a real estate call will go down as the most beautiful story imaginable (at least we think so!). When I so emphatically stated that “I would not ever marry again” a dear friend suggested that I should not put a stop to something God might have for me. With that advice, I made a list of my needs: AND this time they were very different from the first list. I wanted a man with character. Honest, moral, reliable, trustworthy, faithful. You might laugh at the rest of my list; clean, ambitious, creative, sense of humor, weight conscious, NO alcohol, smoking, or pets. Financially organized and we must share compatible life goals. Most importantly, we must share a common faith. I secretly thought God could not provide such a partner and I would remain single. That was ok with me. Then I met a red headed man (actually, his hair was not nearly as red as when I knew him in school!) Yes, we had gone to school together. Everett met my every need, and it was another quick decision.

All of the history to say this: there are some traits we can accept, some not. Finally, here’s my advice. Number one —this is a DEAL BREAKER: can you trust this man? Is there any hint that he could be deceitful, secretive, or ashamed of his own behaviors? Open your eyes, look at him honestly. Without emotion. Create your list of “must haves”; know where you can compromise (after all, shoes left all over the house could be a deal breaker, or simply a trait you will find charming), and be honest with yourself. This is a life time decision. Even if you decide to go separate ways, your life will forever have the imprint of your choice. Here’s another check list; does yours’ match at all?

1. Clean. Smells nice. You believe you could love “that” face forever even when he’s old.
2. Ambitious (You should not have to support him financially)
3. Do you share common goals for your life?
4. Is he truthful? Timely and prompt? Nice to other people? (Not a smart ass—yes I said that!)
5. Another deal breaker…….do you share the goal for a future family—if not, are you in agreement? Is he kind to children and animals?
6. Make your list! Check it off honestly. Make a logical decision and then let your heart follow.

BEEN THERE, AND DONE IT TWICE!

Love to Allie, Katie, Alaura and Moira
Grandma