As always, I hope my words are heard. By someone, somewhere. Life brings experiences that hopefully strengthens the individual and grants moral character development. Am I so self centered that I believe my experiences should benefit my off spring? Sigh……

Frequently, the conversation around the traditional morning coffee is this: “do our kids understand; do they care; what can we do to enhance their lives; what is our responsibility to share wisdom as we see it; and the big question again is DO THEY EVEN CARE?”

Being in a second marriage has been quite the experience. Understandings and acceptances of life are met with a new awareness. There have been situations in my past that were generally accepted as “normal”, however, upon seeing a different lifestyle, normal is always a choice. Choosing how to live, how to choose priorities and why!

I have lived a life that was centered around giving of myself to others. This has not been wrong. In hindsight, this attitude works very well if someone else is also giving of themselves towards the “giver”. A one-sided giving relationship is draining. Emotionally, physically, spiritually. I don’t completely understand why some children are givers, from the very start. Others struggle with being self-focusing and merely self surviving. I study Kohlberg and many other philosophers looking for answers. I do “get it” in many cases. So many factors to consider: small life experiences, big life experiences, and DNA!

There are no conclusions for me today. I have lived with trauma. Hasn’t everyone? There are so many questions as I reach into my 70’s. Seventy three. The sliding is over, I have jumped right in.

Here are my priorities AGAIN. My family. Two sons, their wives. FOUR granddaughters. My additional family: two more sons, their wives. TWO grandsons. Do they know me? Does their love for me validate my existence? On occasion we wonder about an older generation’s state of being ignored. Is that the normal pathway of getting older? My daily priority: my loving, giving husband. I have been blessed. Do my children see how blessed I am?

Dear children….I remember my Dad saying this, “my elderly mother in law said to me one day, Verne, when you are my age, you will understand”. When my Dad was old he repeated that to me….”some day when you are old, you will understand”. Some things I do, Dad, and some things remain a mystery. The truth is, some things I don’t want to understand. Maybe that’s the answer.