Recently, my mind has been occupied by the question of “what is being emotionally stable”.

As I reflect on my past, and in turn, the past I created for my children, I have moments of pride, and perhaps more moments of regret. What could I have done to give my children a more secure upbringing?

First, I realize that my choices were reflective of my past. AND it goes on, and on, and on! The generational impact is strong. Is it something anyone can overcome? Patterns established as a child seem to continue into adulthood. Why did I not think of this when my children were young? OR, perhaps before they were born?

Observation leads me to believe that all of us approach life with an incredible amount of naivety. There are so many “what ifs” as we look back. Is that a healthy approach to mental stability? Perhaps not. BUT, are there lessons to learn?  Words, actions, thoughts. My brain races. Let me continue.

I am grateful for my parents. They parented well. I had very little restriction, but lots of guidance. Choices came easy for me. The impact of that parental skill has given me the ability to discipline myself and look at life in a positive manner because I have some control of my existence. At an early age I chose to align myself with a faith in God. I have never waivered. With that, I thank God for the forgiveness he grants each of us because I have made some whopping mistakes. My choices. I reaped the consequence.

The generational gap is what concerns me. I am now old. My sons are growing old. My grandchildren are reaching adulthood. What have I done to secure their emotional wholeness? And then, I ask, what does that mean? Does it even exist?

Do we all just make it through life, stumbling along the way? Why can’t one generation understand the other? Why can’t we learn from one another and make REAL progress? The only answer I can come up with is that love seems to conquer the differences. Not prejudices, skewed expectations, differences, judgments or disappointments.

I have chosen to open my heart to a variety of people. I cherish their differences without judgment. However, I continue to have opinions. And for whatever reason, no one cares about my opinion. No one asks, no one listens. Does age and experience not have any value? Each of us continues on this bumpy path with deaf ears. I just now am beginning to understand my own parents. Maybe.

Am I emotionally stable? I make choices, take care of myself, and continue to observe life. I laugh, have fun, have had a successful career, have friends and enjoy a good marriage. I am saddened by others’ troubles.  If I look around me and compare myself, I guess I’m ok. But there are those days I question: WHY did I do that? Or say that?

Ain’t life great?