As thoughts take hold in this old, old brain, I have come to a conclusion. This conclusion is based on observation: of myself, my family, those in my community, and people I watch from afar.

My life struggle is with discipline. Self discipline. How do I become what I believe is right for me. I am most pleased with myself when I have achieved what I set out to do. For instance; did I make the bed? Does the living room look neat when I walk in to get my morning coffee? Is my underwear drawer neat and tidy? Don’t laugh—these are things that make my day! I feel good with organization around me—my mind is more clear and thoughts come more quickly when my surroundings are in order. Maybe that’s why I clean house before I go on vacation—I want to walk into a tidy home upon my return. It feels good—not frantic.

These examples are trivial, because my life is also made up of huge decisions based upon my capability to follow through with personal discipline. Everyone is different, I readily admit. I admire those who have accomplished beyond what anyone could have anticipated. For instance, those who have physical or mental “disability” but achieve greatness; others who struggle with early childhood trauma and yet overcome to become a great asset to others. These people have made giant strides in self-discipline to become persons of value to themselves and society.

As a woman, business woman, wife, mother, citizen—all of my labels; I believe in my ability to choose. My life takes the direction I choose. I walk out my front door looking like the person I am proud to be.

My observations regarding the lack of self discipline can be summed up with these words: chaos, trauma, lack of peace, low self esteem, disorder, goals not met, hatred, guilt, anxiety, ugly attitude…………and the list goes on and on.

I don’t have answers on how to insert the chip of self disciple into our brains….can we hope for it, buy it, steal it……why do some have it, and not others? Choice?

Of course, this leads to the next subject…..what is the difference between judgment and evaluation? Thinking, thinking………..