Respond v. React

Over the years I find that I begin thinking about ideas or theories, then it haunts me. This is what has happened with “Respond vs. React”. I have watched the differences between responding and reacting very closely for several years. It is my guess that therapists and psychologists have been addressing these human behaviors for ions….I just hadn’t put it altogether in my own thinking.
With that, “listen my children, and you shall hear” your mother’s best advice that has “evolved” over the last 70 plus years.
I have lived with a man for over 50 years who has grown and changed. In the very beginning of our marriage I was not aware of a childhood that had been unbalanced and damaging. We both look back now and realize how difficult a maturing journey can be when the past has to be re-visited. The effort has to be to understand and re-make thought patterns. Difficult, indeed.
When we fall into survival patterns early in life, it is difficult to grow into a caring and considerate adult. Furthermore, survival means a constant need to react to perceived threats. Habitual reacting rarely moves forward to comprehensive responding. It takes a decision to change, constant focus on behaviors, self-forgiveness, and perhaps first; an awareness that reacting does not grant a peaceful life. Further, reacting will not create trusting relationships.
Now I am looking back on a marriage, children, grandchildren, and other relationships. If I had been so wise as a young woman, could I have helped prevent some of the difficulties we faced? Probably…but I’m not kicking myself…..wisdom comes when we seek it from the Almighty. Life lessons are how we have grown. God, I seek wisdom from you!
As a professional woman, I need to know how to always respond. Reacting hurts others, and creates failure in the business world. It literally stops negotiations. Thoughtful responding creates trust. It’s what a successful business is based upon. As Fr. Robert Spitzer so wisely stated “trust is the glue that holds us altogether”! Amen!
So, what’s the difference? Reacting is an immediate, emotional action without thought of consequence. And simply stated, responding is thoughtfully and wisely guiding oneself and others through a situation, comprehending and reaching for the desired objective.
Am I responding to a situation? Guiding those around me to a solution? Or creating chaos with self-centered, emotional reactions? I will not let myself get put in a corner and react with child-like actions—I am a grown up. I am in control of myself, and helping those around me achieve their personal goals.